So here we are on day 3 and I am feeling like crap. I'm having one of those 'fat' days where I feel really horrible about myself and all I really feel like doing is sitting in front of the xbox or tv and eating everything in the pantry and fridge.
These days happen usually a couple of times a month, no particular thing has to happen or it be TTOTM. Today, it happened because the brand new work pants I got last week and have only worn twice have ripped at the zipper. Don't get me wrong they are still wearable, just that the piece of fabric that hides the actual zipper has torn and now the zip is exposed.
Not such a big deal I can hear you saying but to me it is. The pants I had to order are 2 sizes larger than I normally buy being taller in stature than a lot of women my weight makes it hard to buy pants the right length. For some unknown reason I think clothing companies think fat women are short and hence make their pants about 2 inches too short for me.
Anyway enough of my crummy feelings of self loathing I have decided to try and shed a few kilos (preferrably from my middle and not the bosom) in the hopes of my pants fitting me well enough until my surgery.
Did I mention I was getting a sleeve gastrectomy in August? If I haven't I am.
I am going to try the dreaded shake diet, I know these things are pretty much total garbage but I think that if I am only able to have these shakes and a light protein rich dinner I should be able to knock a couple of kg off and make my pants more comfortable.
Getting sidetracked here but I saw one of the more adorable dogs ever at a customers work shop today. He and his wife and minding their sons Dogue de Bordeaux (think Turner and Hooch) while he and his wife are away for 5 weeks. Butterfly Bella has to be the most placid friendly dog I have ever met, she came up for a sniff and a cuddle then went back and laid on her bed. She got the name butterfly from white markings on her chest that look like a butterfly.
I think if I were a fan of large dogs that would probably be a breed I would go for, sadly they have such short life expectancies.
It's getting late now and I want to go to bed and read a little as I find I sleep a lot better when I have read before sleeping. At the moment I am right into Karin Slaughter books and after finishing the Grant County series I am onto the Atlanta books with Will Trent. Triptych was really good, I enjoyed the writing from both Will Trent and John Shelleys perspectives. Fractured has been enjoyable and I am about a third of the way through.
When my sister passed I received her Kindle as we were both avid book readers (I hadn't been reading as often as I would have liked as paperbacks were getting a little expensive and waiting 3 weeks for Borders to ship to Australia was really starting to bug me) and since getting it at the start of the year I have read about 20 novels. Sadly I am one of 'those' people that actually enjoy Danielle Steele books but thankfully have only bought one so far, a lot of the ones I have previously read have been borrowed from my grandmother. Crime/thrillers also enthral me even though I struggle to understand a lot of the medical jargon in the Kathy Reichs Bones series. I would love to read the Stephanie Plum books but unfortunately it seems Amazons Australia Kindle service thought it would be a good idea to release the books in reverse order and I really don't want to start at book 18 and work backwards.
I can see that there have been a few views of this page since I posted the first entry the other night and I hope that I am entertaining you or at least giving you a break from whatever it is you have been doing.
Night all.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
let me introduce myself
I'm not really sure how to begin so I'll just jump right in.
My name is Kirby, I'm 25 and I live in Perth; Australia. I've been happily married to Chris for the last 2 and a half years. We have 3 small dogs Jellybean the tripod (she lost a leg in a car accident), Gizmo the rascal Jack Russell and Millie the adorable Chihuahua cross. Both Chris and I are originally from the mining town of Kalgoorlie and have known each other since we were 7 (I'll explain more about this later).
Ok, that's just a little about me and I'll probably talk more about my family later on but now to the nitty gritty as to why I am even writing a blog.
I have been overweight most of my life but as a child I was pretty healthy although tubby, I played softball in the summer and hockey in the winter and I enjoyed it. I guess everything changed the year I turned 12, my parents decided to move from Kal to Perth so I was almost half way through my final year of primary school when we left and I had to begin at a new school. Needless to say that it wasn't a positive move for me, I had trouble making friends. I was made fun of for my size and country ways and the people who I did think were going to be my friends ended up being some of the meanest to me.
Instead of playing sports and having fun outdoors with my family I sat inside watching tv (I went from having access to 2 channels to 5, it was a big deal back then) and eating more than I ever should have. I have always struggled to make/have friends, I've always been a bit socially awkward both because of my size and just due to the fact I am incredibly shy. Anyways getting back on track 1998 sucked a lot for me.
Transitioning to high school was a little easier, I was now among a pool of new people who were in the same situation as me and I did a little better on the friend front but I still was in the rut of eating and doing not much else.
This lifestyle has followed me into adulthood and I am now at the point of being morbidly obese which horrifies me. My husband is a healthy weight and although I struggle to fathom why he does I know he loves me for my personality and who I am, there's just more of me to love at the moment.
Thing is, we want to start a family sometime in the near future (near being 1-2 years) and my size is getting in the way of that. My increasing disatisfaction at my physical appearance spurred me in my decision to get a referral to a bariatric surgeon and finally get my health in check.
Don't get me wrong, I have tried a lot of different diets (bar the really absurd ones like Dukan, atkins, detox and soup diets) and I would have some success. I could lose 10kg and then not budge for months. So coming to the decision of surgery was not one I took lightly.
So 10 months ago I met with the surgeon to see if I was a candidate and discuss my options, at the time I was decided on getting the lap band. The appointment went well and I decided to up my private health cover and wait out my 12 months and get it over with.
Here we are 2 months to go and I saw my surgeon again this week to book my surgery date and let him know I changed my mind and wanted to do a sleeve gastrectomy instead (look it up, it sounds fricken scary). I have to wait a month longer than I hoped but I am doing this. Both for myself and my relationship with my husband.
This is about all I can manage right now, as we go along I will update you with surgery details/progress and just chat about my life in general. I will TRY and update every day but no guarantees, I am a little busy lately trying to complete 2 certificates with working full time and trying to find time to spend with my husband when he is home from work (he works away on a remote mine site in the north of the state a week at a time).
Hope I haven't bored you all and that you will stick around and see through this journey with me.
My name is Kirby, I'm 25 and I live in Perth; Australia. I've been happily married to Chris for the last 2 and a half years. We have 3 small dogs Jellybean the tripod (she lost a leg in a car accident), Gizmo the rascal Jack Russell and Millie the adorable Chihuahua cross. Both Chris and I are originally from the mining town of Kalgoorlie and have known each other since we were 7 (I'll explain more about this later).
Ok, that's just a little about me and I'll probably talk more about my family later on but now to the nitty gritty as to why I am even writing a blog.
I have been overweight most of my life but as a child I was pretty healthy although tubby, I played softball in the summer and hockey in the winter and I enjoyed it. I guess everything changed the year I turned 12, my parents decided to move from Kal to Perth so I was almost half way through my final year of primary school when we left and I had to begin at a new school. Needless to say that it wasn't a positive move for me, I had trouble making friends. I was made fun of for my size and country ways and the people who I did think were going to be my friends ended up being some of the meanest to me.
Instead of playing sports and having fun outdoors with my family I sat inside watching tv (I went from having access to 2 channels to 5, it was a big deal back then) and eating more than I ever should have. I have always struggled to make/have friends, I've always been a bit socially awkward both because of my size and just due to the fact I am incredibly shy. Anyways getting back on track 1998 sucked a lot for me.
Transitioning to high school was a little easier, I was now among a pool of new people who were in the same situation as me and I did a little better on the friend front but I still was in the rut of eating and doing not much else.
This lifestyle has followed me into adulthood and I am now at the point of being morbidly obese which horrifies me. My husband is a healthy weight and although I struggle to fathom why he does I know he loves me for my personality and who I am, there's just more of me to love at the moment.
Thing is, we want to start a family sometime in the near future (near being 1-2 years) and my size is getting in the way of that. My increasing disatisfaction at my physical appearance spurred me in my decision to get a referral to a bariatric surgeon and finally get my health in check.
Don't get me wrong, I have tried a lot of different diets (bar the really absurd ones like Dukan, atkins, detox and soup diets) and I would have some success. I could lose 10kg and then not budge for months. So coming to the decision of surgery was not one I took lightly.
So 10 months ago I met with the surgeon to see if I was a candidate and discuss my options, at the time I was decided on getting the lap band. The appointment went well and I decided to up my private health cover and wait out my 12 months and get it over with.
Here we are 2 months to go and I saw my surgeon again this week to book my surgery date and let him know I changed my mind and wanted to do a sleeve gastrectomy instead (look it up, it sounds fricken scary). I have to wait a month longer than I hoped but I am doing this. Both for myself and my relationship with my husband.
This is about all I can manage right now, as we go along I will update you with surgery details/progress and just chat about my life in general. I will TRY and update every day but no guarantees, I am a little busy lately trying to complete 2 certificates with working full time and trying to find time to spend with my husband when he is home from work (he works away on a remote mine site in the north of the state a week at a time).
Hope I haven't bored you all and that you will stick around and see through this journey with me.
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