and the verdict is.........

I'll cut to the chase here, it's stage IIB and I have to have chemo. Then radiotherapy.

I also need to consider having a mastectomy.

Not great news (not that I expected anything different, well maybe I thought I had on the mastectomy front) and not especially happy after having to wait nearly 50 minutes to actually see the doctor to only have a 5 minute consult.

But anyway, she's happy with how I am healing (yay), but also mentioned that although they got all the cancer out there are abnormal cells and I need to think about whether I want to have layers of tissue scraped out or just go in and have the whole breast removed. Now I managed to hold it together while I was there but right now I'm feeling pretty crap.  

The tumour in my breast ended up being 34mm and not the 25mm initially thought and 3 out of the 18 nodes (which is all of the ones in my armpit) they took were cancerous, one they could feel through the fatty tissue, the others were found under the microscope.

I meet with the oncologist on Monday and the nurse said they are one of the best/friendliest I can get.

Of course none of the chemo will start until after we've done all our stuff with the fertility clinic, all I will say is that we are doing IVF under recommendation of 2 doctors and unless I have already spoken with you about it I wont be discussing it with anyone so please do not ask us. No offence it's just a pretty personal matter to me and although I'm happy to talk about my tits my reproductive bits are off limits.

Well the side trip to the seroma clinic on Tuesday was absolutely pointless as the doctor then just said to wait for my surgeon to look at it and she barely looked and said to just let it reabsorb into my body. Sloshy boob is here to stay, at least for a while anyway.

So I now have more decisions to make and I just don't want to have to do it. I know people say to keep positive but sometimes that just isn't possible. Doesn't help that Chris is leaving for work tomorrow but thankfully it's only one week. After the crazy whirlwind 3 weeks he's had off I think he needs a break from me and my neediness haha.

In the space of 3 weeks I've gone from having the initial mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy to a diagnosis, diagnostic testing, surgery, fertility treatments and a constant string of doctors and hospital visits. I've had more than my fill of needles with plenty more to come.

I know I have Kylie on my side watching over me but her situation is always in the back of my mind.