Guilt trip

So once again I've left it quite a few weeks to write another update, I don't do it on purpose I'm just forgetful as all hell lately (thanks chemo).

I've been feeling really good lately, I've been put on a tablet for my thyroid levels as they were massively high (talking 91 when it should be like 3) and this has helped with symptoms I was putting down to the tamoxifen. I'm back at work on full time hours  and I'm a lot happier with actually going to work now. There's no dread when I wake up in the morning and wishing I had the flu just so I could get out of work.

Life is moving forward, I'm having some reconstruction done on Tuesday for my wonky boobs and I'm excited and nervous (who isn't in the face of more surgery). We're buying Chris a new car as lord knows the guys been pretty damn patient and my savior. It's his very first (and probably our last) brand new car and I'm super excited for him. I splurged and bought a thermomix so we'll see how my kitchen escapades go with using that. Softball has been great fun for me over the summer, we may not win every week but all the girls are great fun and really friendly. It's been just what I need, getting out there and meeting new people and playing the game I love. I even managed to hit a home run today.

One downside that has started to show itself is that I'm made to feel guilty for having a bit of good fortune in our life. After the horror of 11 months we went through last year I thought we were finally moving forward and that everyone would be happy for us but unfortunately that hasn't been the case. Chris and I both work hard to be able to buy the things we do and it's not fair that we're being made to feel like we're bad people for enjoying what we've worked for. I'm not rubbing things in peoples faces, I just want to share the happiness I'm now finally experiencing after what was the worst year of my life.

Anyway I've got that off my chest and I'm continuing forward without looking back .

I'm off to go make me some banana bread in my thermi.

Night all.