now don't go getting your knickers in a twist this is not me telling you all I'm suddenly terminal.
I'm writing these down so I don't forget and to give me something to look forward to doing in the MANY years I expect I still have left after I kick the cancers arse.
I may come back and add to the list as I come up with more things I'd like to experience but for now this is it.
1. Go skydiving
2. Travel through Europe
3. Go back to Bali and renew my vows with Chris
4. Learn to crochet
5. Make a quilt
6. Visit Las Vegas and New York
7. Take a photography course
8. Create my family tree
9. Foster at least one child in need
10. Donate more of my time to worthy causes
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
jiggly bits
since I started this blog initially as a way to document my progress with my sleeve I thought I'd write another post today seeing as I haven't mentioned my weight loss progress in a while.
So here we are and I am a full 6 months post op now from my sleeve gastrectomy and I have as of this morning lost 39kg.
What goes along with this significant weight loss is a lot of excess skin hence the title of this post. I wobble now more than ever before and I still want to lose at least another 10kg!!!
I started this journey at 131kg with a BMI of 42.7 which put me in 'obese class III', I was sitting between size 20 and 22 clothing and because of my weight I was having issues with my knee joints.
I am at the moment 92kg, my BMI is now 30.04 which is 'obese class I' (only .04 to get into the overweight class', I am now wearing size 16 and 18 clothes and I no longer experience pain in my knees when I climb stairs.
I look forward to going skydiving later this year as I now come under the maximum weight limit.
On the flipside I feel severe shame in how big I let myself get but I share my story to let others that are unhappy with themselves know that they are not alone and they have power to change their life.
I have also come to the realisation that no matter what I think of other fat people and their size it is ultimately up to them how they choose to live their life. Through the help of a friend I have seen the hapiness and joy some obese people experience in their life without the shame or unhappiness of their size.
I think people need to realise that just because they have negative feelings about another persons body or life doesn't necessarily mean that other person feels the same way about themself. It's just like opinions, just because you have one it doesn't mean it's right.
So here we are and I am a full 6 months post op now from my sleeve gastrectomy and I have as of this morning lost 39kg.
What goes along with this significant weight loss is a lot of excess skin hence the title of this post. I wobble now more than ever before and I still want to lose at least another 10kg!!!
I started this journey at 131kg with a BMI of 42.7 which put me in 'obese class III', I was sitting between size 20 and 22 clothing and because of my weight I was having issues with my knee joints.
I am at the moment 92kg, my BMI is now 30.04 which is 'obese class I' (only .04 to get into the overweight class', I am now wearing size 16 and 18 clothes and I no longer experience pain in my knees when I climb stairs.
I look forward to going skydiving later this year as I now come under the maximum weight limit.
On the flipside I feel severe shame in how big I let myself get but I share my story to let others that are unhappy with themselves know that they are not alone and they have power to change their life.
I have also come to the realisation that no matter what I think of other fat people and their size it is ultimately up to them how they choose to live their life. Through the help of a friend I have seen the hapiness and joy some obese people experience in their life without the shame or unhappiness of their size.
I think people need to realise that just because they have negative feelings about another persons body or life doesn't necessarily mean that other person feels the same way about themself. It's just like opinions, just because you have one it doesn't mean it's right.
keeping on
it's been a while since my last update and some stuff has happened since then, nothing overly interesting in the grand scheme of things.
I did my second chemo on the 24th Jan and got to spend the weekend with my parents, Carrie and the ever cute Jake. We had a great time catching up, laughing and having nerf wars. A good way to recover and cheer up from Jellys passing. I didn't get fatigued, had minimal nausea and was in a better frame of mind this time around.
Things got a lot worse from there though.
I was admitted to hospital on the 3rd of Feb with febrile neutropenia again, this time we threw in some anaemia, septicemia, clostridium difficle and blood pressure that bottomed out at 30/60 for a couple days. Same as last time, began feeling unwell and feverish and when I checked my temp it was above 38 which means I need to see a doctor as soon as possible.
Spent most of the first night in a exam room in emergency (the beauty of neutropenia is you get kept away from all the other patients) waiting for a room to open up in medical ward. Eventually moved at 1am and by that point I could barely walk on my own as my blood pressure had plummeted.
Now when this happens you need to be given a drug that contains adrenaline and they can only do this in the ICU at Rockingham so it was decided I needed to be moved. This also means complete bed rest to keep the BP stable so lucky me got to have my first catheter and I can't begin to tell you how weird it is to not feel the need to pee or even know when you're actually doing it.
So 5.30 in the morning with only a couple of hours sleep in me (they were doing my BP every half hour and nurses felt no need to be quiet when talking around me and I was trying to sleep) they transferred me from medical to high dependancy unit. They removed my PICC line shortly after and sent segments and blood taken from it for testing to see if that was the source of the infection (it wasn't) so I was back to having canulars put in.
They started me on a bunch of different antibiotics at once so I had 3 canulars in at the same time, right elbow and hand and one in my foot (my veins have all but collapsed).
They monitored my blood pressure for 24 hours to see if it would come back up on it's own but it didn't so I had a central line inserted into my chest Tuesday afternoon. Now if you are ever in a position to require a central line and the doctor assures you it wont hurt don't believe them for a minute. It hurts, from the needle of local they give you to the insertion of the wire it hurts. I think mine was more painful because the wire was scraping my clavical as it went in and I could hear it doing that but they still hurt being done.
Anyways once the line was put in my BP went back to normal before they even started giving me the drug, gotta love adrenaline. They started the drug and my BP stayed up from there on. The following couple of days were pretty uneventful, they slowly lowered the dose of the adrenaline, I developed c-diff from all the antibiotics I was on and I was still bedridden.
By the weekend I was able to get out of bed and sit in a chair and my catheter was removed. They were debating whether to move me back to medical ward or discharge me. Monday morning the doctors decided I was well enough to go home. So after waiting 4 hours for my discharge papers and drugs we were on our way home.
It was pretty boring for a few days after that, we stayed home and just Chris went out when we needed anything. Thursday was interesting though, we headed out to go get mats for my car and then we needed to go to Rocky CIty to get some dvds we'd bought online unlocked. While we were there I decided to check out a clothes shop that was having a sale. I'd already begun to feel unwell before we went into the shop and I really should have not been a complete dumbass and gone and sat straight down after I started feeling faint in the change room but I was a dumbass and waited with Chris at the counter as he paid.
I decided a bit too late that I needed a seat and the last thing I remember after telling Chris I was going to wait outside while he paid was turning to go out the door. I woke up on the floor after that.
This is what Chris tells me happened, I turned to walk to the door and didn't even take one step before I began to fall. The fan I was carrying dropped out of my hand first then I started to topple forward, my arm knocked a clothing rack on the way down and he tried to grab me but it was too late, he did manage to stop me falling completely on my face but I still whacked my face somewhere cause when I came too my upper lip was pretty sore. He says I wasn't out of it for long and when I woke I was surrounded by the shop assistant and a couple of customers.
All in all pretty damn embarrassing.
Needless to say I've been taking it pretty easy since then.
Just a few days later I was back at the doctors with what turned out to be a superficial thrombosis in my right upper arm. I've been having to do blood thinner injections daily since and will be on them until my oncologist says to stop. The clot cleared pretty quickly once I started the drugs and hopefully I wont be having anymore thrombosis.
I saw my oncologist last week as we had to delay chemo again due to the hospital stay and infection. He wanted me to either have another PICC line or a infuser port put in. Well he wanted the PICC but I didn't and suggested the port. I decided against another PICC as I want to be able to go to the beach and go out without worrying about having my arm covered so people dont see the big tubes coming out of my arm.
So in 2 days I am going in for day surgery to have the port inserted in my shoulder, this will be my 4th general knocking out since September and it still freaks me out a little.
Hopefully the healing from this will be quick enough for me to do chemo on the 14th as I will be 6 weeks behind schedule by then and I want to get this over with. The longer treatment takes the longer I'm off work and not earning. As much as I whined about not wanting to go to work being home all day everyday can be just as bad, made worse by the loss of my income.
The good thing about not having had chemo for 5 weeks is I'm feeling pretty damn good at the moment. I have more energy (still a lot less than normal due to all the inactivity), my sense of taste is almost back to normal and I just feel better overall. I even managed to do some baking this weekend which is something I have sorely missed doing for the last few months.
I caught up with my dads sisters and a cousin today which was great as I hadn't seen one aunt since my wedding (I think, chemo brain could be mistaken though) and the last time my other aunt and cousin we didn't really have a chance to catch up and I was still in shock from my diagnosis. It was great to sit around with family and just chat and hear about when my dad was growing up.
So that brings you up to speed. Hope it wasn't a case of TLDR, I know it was a long one.
Fingers crossed for less hospital admissions and fainting episodes in the coming months but then I wouldn't have much to blog about haha.
I did my second chemo on the 24th Jan and got to spend the weekend with my parents, Carrie and the ever cute Jake. We had a great time catching up, laughing and having nerf wars. A good way to recover and cheer up from Jellys passing. I didn't get fatigued, had minimal nausea and was in a better frame of mind this time around.
Things got a lot worse from there though.
I was admitted to hospital on the 3rd of Feb with febrile neutropenia again, this time we threw in some anaemia, septicemia, clostridium difficle and blood pressure that bottomed out at 30/60 for a couple days. Same as last time, began feeling unwell and feverish and when I checked my temp it was above 38 which means I need to see a doctor as soon as possible.
Spent most of the first night in a exam room in emergency (the beauty of neutropenia is you get kept away from all the other patients) waiting for a room to open up in medical ward. Eventually moved at 1am and by that point I could barely walk on my own as my blood pressure had plummeted.
Now when this happens you need to be given a drug that contains adrenaline and they can only do this in the ICU at Rockingham so it was decided I needed to be moved. This also means complete bed rest to keep the BP stable so lucky me got to have my first catheter and I can't begin to tell you how weird it is to not feel the need to pee or even know when you're actually doing it.
So 5.30 in the morning with only a couple of hours sleep in me (they were doing my BP every half hour and nurses felt no need to be quiet when talking around me and I was trying to sleep) they transferred me from medical to high dependancy unit. They removed my PICC line shortly after and sent segments and blood taken from it for testing to see if that was the source of the infection (it wasn't) so I was back to having canulars put in.
They started me on a bunch of different antibiotics at once so I had 3 canulars in at the same time, right elbow and hand and one in my foot (my veins have all but collapsed).
They monitored my blood pressure for 24 hours to see if it would come back up on it's own but it didn't so I had a central line inserted into my chest Tuesday afternoon. Now if you are ever in a position to require a central line and the doctor assures you it wont hurt don't believe them for a minute. It hurts, from the needle of local they give you to the insertion of the wire it hurts. I think mine was more painful because the wire was scraping my clavical as it went in and I could hear it doing that but they still hurt being done.
Anyways once the line was put in my BP went back to normal before they even started giving me the drug, gotta love adrenaline. They started the drug and my BP stayed up from there on. The following couple of days were pretty uneventful, they slowly lowered the dose of the adrenaline, I developed c-diff from all the antibiotics I was on and I was still bedridden.
By the weekend I was able to get out of bed and sit in a chair and my catheter was removed. They were debating whether to move me back to medical ward or discharge me. Monday morning the doctors decided I was well enough to go home. So after waiting 4 hours for my discharge papers and drugs we were on our way home.
It was pretty boring for a few days after that, we stayed home and just Chris went out when we needed anything. Thursday was interesting though, we headed out to go get mats for my car and then we needed to go to Rocky CIty to get some dvds we'd bought online unlocked. While we were there I decided to check out a clothes shop that was having a sale. I'd already begun to feel unwell before we went into the shop and I really should have not been a complete dumbass and gone and sat straight down after I started feeling faint in the change room but I was a dumbass and waited with Chris at the counter as he paid.
I decided a bit too late that I needed a seat and the last thing I remember after telling Chris I was going to wait outside while he paid was turning to go out the door. I woke up on the floor after that.
This is what Chris tells me happened, I turned to walk to the door and didn't even take one step before I began to fall. The fan I was carrying dropped out of my hand first then I started to topple forward, my arm knocked a clothing rack on the way down and he tried to grab me but it was too late, he did manage to stop me falling completely on my face but I still whacked my face somewhere cause when I came too my upper lip was pretty sore. He says I wasn't out of it for long and when I woke I was surrounded by the shop assistant and a couple of customers.
All in all pretty damn embarrassing.
Needless to say I've been taking it pretty easy since then.
Just a few days later I was back at the doctors with what turned out to be a superficial thrombosis in my right upper arm. I've been having to do blood thinner injections daily since and will be on them until my oncologist says to stop. The clot cleared pretty quickly once I started the drugs and hopefully I wont be having anymore thrombosis.
I saw my oncologist last week as we had to delay chemo again due to the hospital stay and infection. He wanted me to either have another PICC line or a infuser port put in. Well he wanted the PICC but I didn't and suggested the port. I decided against another PICC as I want to be able to go to the beach and go out without worrying about having my arm covered so people dont see the big tubes coming out of my arm.
So in 2 days I am going in for day surgery to have the port inserted in my shoulder, this will be my 4th general knocking out since September and it still freaks me out a little.
Hopefully the healing from this will be quick enough for me to do chemo on the 14th as I will be 6 weeks behind schedule by then and I want to get this over with. The longer treatment takes the longer I'm off work and not earning. As much as I whined about not wanting to go to work being home all day everyday can be just as bad, made worse by the loss of my income.
The good thing about not having had chemo for 5 weeks is I'm feeling pretty damn good at the moment. I have more energy (still a lot less than normal due to all the inactivity), my sense of taste is almost back to normal and I just feel better overall. I even managed to do some baking this weekend which is something I have sorely missed doing for the last few months.
I caught up with my dads sisters and a cousin today which was great as I hadn't seen one aunt since my wedding (I think, chemo brain could be mistaken though) and the last time my other aunt and cousin we didn't really have a chance to catch up and I was still in shock from my diagnosis. It was great to sit around with family and just chat and hear about when my dad was growing up.
So that brings you up to speed. Hope it wasn't a case of TLDR, I know it was a long one.
Fingers crossed for less hospital admissions and fainting episodes in the coming months but then I wouldn't have much to blog about haha.
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