and the verdict is.........

I'll cut to the chase here, it's stage IIB and I have to have chemo. Then radiotherapy.

I also need to consider having a mastectomy.

Not great news (not that I expected anything different, well maybe I thought I had on the mastectomy front) and not especially happy after having to wait nearly 50 minutes to actually see the doctor to only have a 5 minute consult.

But anyway, she's happy with how I am healing (yay), but also mentioned that although they got all the cancer out there are abnormal cells and I need to think about whether I want to have layers of tissue scraped out or just go in and have the whole breast removed. Now I managed to hold it together while I was there but right now I'm feeling pretty crap.  

The tumour in my breast ended up being 34mm and not the 25mm initially thought and 3 out of the 18 nodes (which is all of the ones in my armpit) they took were cancerous, one they could feel through the fatty tissue, the others were found under the microscope.

I meet with the oncologist on Monday and the nurse said they are one of the best/friendliest I can get.

Of course none of the chemo will start until after we've done all our stuff with the fertility clinic, all I will say is that we are doing IVF under recommendation of 2 doctors and unless I have already spoken with you about it I wont be discussing it with anyone so please do not ask us. No offence it's just a pretty personal matter to me and although I'm happy to talk about my tits my reproductive bits are off limits.

Well the side trip to the seroma clinic on Tuesday was absolutely pointless as the doctor then just said to wait for my surgeon to look at it and she barely looked and said to just let it reabsorb into my body. Sloshy boob is here to stay, at least for a while anyway.

So I now have more decisions to make and I just don't want to have to do it. I know people say to keep positive but sometimes that just isn't possible. Doesn't help that Chris is leaving for work tomorrow but thankfully it's only one week. After the crazy whirlwind 3 weeks he's had off I think he needs a break from me and my neediness haha.

In the space of 3 weeks I've gone from having the initial mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy to a diagnosis, diagnostic testing, surgery, fertility treatments and a constant string of doctors and hospital visits. I've had more than my fill of needles with plenty more to come.

I know I have Kylie on my side watching over me but her situation is always in the back of my mind.

The water boob

Just a quick update here with a creepy yet hilarious side effect from my surgery.

I have had a mild reaction to the adhesives used in the dressings on my incisions and as such am itching like a mofo. I finally got the all clear to remove the dressings from the lumpectomy and axillary clearance sites but i have to leave the drain site covered due to the stitches.

so i felt the urge to scratch come on and I need to be careful of the steri strips that are still in place so instead I give the itch a little rub instead of a scratch. This would have been fine if I didn't hear a massive sloshing sound inside my tit. I swear I thought I had busted it open or something it was so loud. I had to ask chris to listen to incase I was hearing things, sure enough its there.

Turns out I have developed a seroma in my lumpectomy site. It's basically where clear fluid builds up in surgery sites as it can't drain freely. Going to get the HITH (hospital in the home) nurse to check it out tomorrow and maybe freak her out if she's never heard a boob slosh before.

Still trying to get used to the whole being selfish and asking for help and things when I need/want them. Worried how I will go once Chris goes back to work next Friday. I'm still having my weepy moment but we're getting through with humour. I just want next Thursday to hurry up and come so we finally know what the next step is. Oh and I really really want this drain out cause lugging around a canister of bodily fluids is getting gross (the nurses only measure the quantity, they don't empty it so it is getting fuller by the day).

If no one is freaked out by the site of my semi naked side boob I can post a picture of my gory side haha.

home again

well yesterday was the first step in my treatment journey and I had the surgery to remove the affected lump and nodes from my armpit.

Thankfully I was one of the first to go through for surgery so it wasn't a massive long day of waiting like with my sleeve operation. I was wheeled into theatre around 8.30 (or so Chris tells me) and I was awake in recovery around 11am. Everything went smoothly and I woke up with a fair amount of pain in my arm and chest but the nurses said this was most likely due to my arm being raised over my head so long during the operation. Couple of tramadol cleared it up pretty quickly though.

I had a couple of visitors as soon as I was back in my room; Chris (naturally) and my new friend Mel. I hope I wasn't rude or anything cause I was still pretty out of it and don't remember much from our conversation but Chris assures me she is lovely.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, just hours of me and Chris taking turns napping and playing on our phones/iPad.

I was discharged this morning with a lovely drainage tube that will most likely be hanging around for a week or more (until I have 2 consecutive days with 30ml or less of fluid collected). So I will have a home nurse come each day to swap them out.

I got my first proper look in the mirror at my chest and armpit area and I was completely in shock and had a good cry. Lets just say that one looks a lot younger and perkier than the other. My upper arm is still quite numb and the doctor said this was due to the nerves and something during surgery (you can tell I pay a lot of attention when doctors are talking to me about my health eh).

I think I feel more emotional today than any day last week, it's all sort of hit home and I'm realising now how much I will need to rely on Chris and my family and friends to help me.

Speaking of Chris I feel so awful, today is our third wedding anniversary and he was stuck in traffic for over an hour to pick me up and we can't (well I dont want to) go anywhere. He's pretty happy sitting there playing the new COD game though.

I love the guy more than anything and I just want him to know how happy he has made me these last 5 and a half years and I am so happy and proud to be his wife.

the beginning

let me begin by apologising for the manner in which most of you found out about my diagnosis. I had hoped to tell all if not most of you in person myself or know that my parents, sister or brother may have. It ended up my feeling it as right a time as any to post it to facebook at the end of the Relay For Life festivities.

So we jump to the nitty gritty now, I want to use this blog as a way to keep anyone who is interested in being kept up to date with my progress without having an endless stream of texts, private messages and phone calls. I have realised this weekend that it can be very exhausting physically and emotionally to have to explain things dozens of times. I'm sorry if this comes across as a bit rough but that's just the way I am feeling at the moment.

Back to the update, tomorrow morning at 6.30 I will check in at Royal Perth for breast conserving surgery (lumpectomy) and node removal. This means they will remove the lump in my breast along with some 'clean' tissue that surrounds it (they remove the clean tissue for testing to see exactly how far the cancer might be moving, if its in what they believe is clean tissue they will go back in and remove more) and as many lymph nodes from my armpit that they deem necessary. It's only an overnight stay in hospital so I will be back home Wednesday albeit with a lovely drain bag to accessorise with for about a week.

They will send the tissues and nodes they remove off for testing to learn what stage the cancer is at to determine what type of further treatment I will need. As I am having breast conserving surgery I will need to have radiotherapy to kill any remaining cancer cells. I wont know if I will need chemotherapy until my follow up appointment on the 22nd.

That's about all there is to know at the moment. But I will keep updating the blog and letting people know when it is updated.

At the moment I am still pretty upset but staying positive about it all.

Should also let everyone know the Relay went great, our team managed to raise over $16000 and we were the 3rd highest funds raised team. Overall more than $260,000 was raised for the Cancer Council with more money still coming in from the items teams were selling at the event. Sadly it felt like there was less public attendance for the candlelight ceremony than last year.

Their perpetual tropy for the team that raises the most money is named the 'Kylie Fissioli Memorial Trophy' which makes me very happy that her lagacy in helping others is recognised and that she meant a lot to so many.

 my sisters, brother and I after a long night of walking

from left Carrie, Renae, me and Lee

 Chris and I with the giant Daffodil Kylie started and I finished. This was our baton for the relay

All of our team, the Fissiolis and Salters minus Mum and Rachel

the day the Earth stood still

I haven't updated this in a long while when I thought this would be something I would come to do every day or at least once a week. But alas procrastination is a big weakness of mine.

Anyway, sleeve operation itself went well, had some difficulty with the pain meds they had me on so struggled with fluid intake for the first couple of days. We went to Esperance one week after surgery so hubby could go fishing with his dad and I ended up with a wicked infection in my main incision site that left me feeling like absolute crap for a couple of weeks. Struggled with (and continue to struggle) with food intake and having the right balance of foods.

So here we are 9 almost 10 weeks on and I've lost 18kg and  I am pretty damn happy with that. It may be slower than I thought it would be but considering I have put stuff all effort into exercising these last 9 weeks it's good.

Back to the topic of todays post, I was in the shower 3 weeks (or there abouts) and washing the old lady lumps when I felt a bump in my bosom. Not remembering it ever being there I was slightly concerned but left it for a few days for the hubby to come home so he could inspect it (pretty sure he didn't mind that part) and then I would decide if it warranted going to the Dr.

He came home, he saw and he felt and we agreed that it was noticable and I should get it soon. I trundled off to the local female GP the following Monday (hubby comes home from site on Friday nights) after calling work to say I wasn't feeling too well which was true because this lump was really freaking me out. She did the old booby massage and told me I needed to go get a mammogram, ultrasound and FNA (Fine Needle Aspiration = biopsy). I called the radiological clinic and had to wait until Thursday the next week -so 10 days from Dr app- to get in. Again more time needed off work (I'm surprised my boss hadn't fired me by this stage after all the time off I have been asking for to go see my sleeve Dr as well).

All the tests were completed with the only incident being the ultrasound Dr found a second lump in my armpit and biopsied this as well. I walked out with needle stabs and $650 lighter; my jaw hit the floor when I was told what the bill was, I managed to get just over half back from Medicare but was still way more than what I was anticipating.

Now when the Dr finished taking the cells for the biopsy his nurse explained that the films from the mammogram would be ready in 2 days and that the cytology results would take at least 6 working days. I took this into consideration and figured I would just book in to see the GP for the results when we got back from Kalgoorlie and doing the Relay For Life which coincidentally is being dedicated to my sister who passed away from cancer at the start of the year.

Imagine my surprise when I got a call from the nurse at my Dr office on Monday (2 working days and 4 totals days since taking the tests) making an appointment to get my results the next day. This set alarm bells ringing because of what the radiological clinic nurse had told me. I was at work all day so I asked my hubby to go collect my film and see if there was a letter in there, he obliged and there was. He sent me extracts of the letter and through bumbling use of Google I was able to determine that there was a pretty high chance my tests came back positive for malignant cells.

I did a half day at work on Tuesday 6/11/2012 (a day which I will now never ever forget) and rocked up to the surgery with hubby in tow and just from the look on the Drs face when we walked into her consult room I knew what I had already suspected was the truth.

I have cancer.

A lot of what she said is now a blur and it's only been one day since we were told. I do remember the main thing and that was that she was forwarding all my reports and info to Royal Perth Hospital Breast Clinic and that I would have an appointment with them within 2 weeks and that my treatment would most likely be surgery to either remove the lumps or whole breast and possibly chemo, radiation or both after but all that is to be decided at the hospital.

Well the clinic called this morning and I am seeing the surgeon tomorrow afternoon and have to go in early in the morning to have some core biopsies taken.

Everything right now feels like a really bad dream that I'm not waking up from. Chris held it together well through all the appointment while I blubbered. The thing I am dreading most is telling my parents. They've already seen one daughter suffer through and die because of cancer and now I have to go and tell them that another one has to fight it. It just really doesn't seem fair but I am prepared to fight with everything I have and slay the beast that is hiding in my body.

my beautiful sister Kylie and I on my wedding day

14/11/09. She was in between bouts of cancer at this time